"Why Did I Just Do That?"
Unpacking the small (and not-so-small) emotional outbursts that leave us wondering, “Why Did I Just Do That?”
I was playing with my three-year-old niece the other day.
At one point, when it seemed like I wasn’t doing what she wanted, she suddenly turned around, crossed her arms, and stormed off.
What happened?
Yes, she’s only three and still learning how to communicate, how to reason, and how to make sense of her world.
But also, she didn’t know how to express what she was feeling. She didn’t have the words, so she acted it out.
It’s easy to call it a tantrum (and it was), but it was also her doing the best she could with what she had. Her emotions took over, and her little brain, in its attempt to get what it wanted, used the tools available; storm off, make me feel bad, hope that brings her the outcome she wants.
Here’s the kicker though:
We think we grow out of this.
We don’t.
Not completely.
Not without conscious effort.
Have you ever shut down a conversation, snapped at someone, or given the silent treatment? Not because you were cruel, but because you just didn’t have the words?
I thought so. Me to.
Recently, I was on a phone call that overwhelmed me. My brain spiraled into noise, and instead of expressing what was going on, I blurted out, “I have to go,” and hung up.
Not my proudest moment.
Insert the conscious effort part here - Later, I CHOSE to sit down to unpack what happened.
What was I actually feeling? and why.
What was I thinking in that moment? and why.
No editing, no judging, just raw honesty on paper.
The truth? I was just like my niece. Flooded with emotions and missing the language to explain what was going on. And, lets be honest, it was an easy way to manipulate the situation to get what I wanted.
That’s the powerful part of being an adult; we get to learn.
We get to practice having emotional awareness.
I realised I needed to build my vocabulary around how I feel.
To find better words.
To name what’s going on before it boils over.
Now, I’ve got a few simple phrases ready to go. The next time I feel overwhelmed, instead of shutting down, I can say:
“Hey, I’m a bit all over the place right now. Can I take a minute to gather my thoughts?”
“I’m not totally sure what’s going on, but I’m definitely feeling off. I just need a second.”
“My head’s spinning a bit and I don’t want to blurt. Can we hit pause for a sec?”
You're welcome to borrow those too.
It might sound small, but this is growth.
This is how we grow, bit by bit, word by word.
When we review.
So here’s my question to you:
What were you feeling when you last "just did that"?
How would you describe it if no one was judging?
It’s okay if you don’t know yet.
Start there.
I help my clients every day articulate their thoughts, feelings and actions just like this.
The result? They CHOOSE how to think, feel and act to get the results they want.
Without the drama.
Without the 'why did I just do that?" hangover.
If you are interested in exploring how that can work for you, I offer free, no obligation consults to start getting you moving forward with intention.
BOOK YOUR CONSULT HERE <<<<<<<<<<<
It's not about being perfect, its about being purposeful.
Your wingwoman,
Steph
PS. Interested in finding out more about 'why you just did that'? Book a free, no obligation consult here