Blog
Hold It Lightly
What happens when you stop forcing the answer?
I’ve noticed something in common among my clients.
They all want answers.
Why?
Why do you want answers?
Why do you ask questions?
Is it because:
You want to improve?
You don't want it to be all your fault?
You want reasons for why you feel the way you do?
You want to make sense of the world?
Because you don't ever want to feel this way again?
Is that you?
I know I can see myself in that.
When do you find you ask the most questions?
Is it when things have gone wrong?
That's normal.
When things don't go as planned, do you find you want to extract as much value from the experience as possible so you never have to do this again?
Do you loop on questions trying to find all the answers?
Does it feel like you have a stranglehold on the issue, trying to wring out the reason why?
Thinking that "if I can find the right answer, I will suddenly feel better. Things will make sense"
Why did I do that?
Why did he do that?
Why did he dump me?
What can I do better?
How do I improve?
What happens if I don't?
I'm not poo-pooing asking questions.
I applaud it. Along with seeking self improvement.
But I’ve noticed the answers that evade us most come from the questions we grip too tightly, trying to squeeze every drop of information out of it.
Desperate to extract the “right” answer. As though there is only one.
Because somehow our worth is entangled in our ability to find the answer. To learn from it. To never repeat this mistake.
Do you find that?
Often, the hardest part in finding the answer to those questions... is to step back.
Loosen your grip.
Allow it to breathe.
And hold it lightly.
Why is it so hard to loosen our grip on certain questions?
Because loosening our grip requires trust.
Trust you can handle the outcome.
Trust you are a good person.
Trust you are good enough.
So for today, here’s what I want to encourage you to try.
The next time you find yourself in this situation, peppering yourself with questions.
Why this, why that, why the other, ask the same questions…
But release your stranglehold on the answers.
Hold it lightly.
See what comes to you.
Notice how that feels in your body.
Trusting you will learn.
Trusting you can handle it.
Trusting.
You may be surprised by what you draw toward yourself when you stop forcing the answers and start holding your problem lightly.
I'm keen to hear how you go.
Stephanie
PS: Loosening your grip doesn’t mean you don’t care. It means you trust yourself to find the answer. If that trust feels hard to access, know that’s normal, and it’s something you can build.
Farmers Are Strong, Not Invincible.
Grant Funded Coaching Packages Available.
REPLY via EMAIL IF YOU HAVE QUESTIONS
ABOUT TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THIS OPPORTUNITY
and SHARE IT WITH FARMERS YOU KNOW WHO CAN BENEFIT FROM IT.
I wanted to share an opportunity close to my heart today.
Farmers are some of the strongest, most resilient people we know.
They are expected to wear many hats at once:
Entrepreneur
Leader
Risk-taker
Weather forecaster
Partner
Parent
Caregiver
Lover
Provider
Marketing genius
and more
And like many of us, feelings of overwhelm and thinking "where do you even start" can be common.
With that in mind, a lovely farming friend of mine, Dana from homegrowndreamco.com, is helping facilitate a generous grant from NCR Sare, supporting farmers:
to help them sort through all their 'hats',
to help them build the skills they need
to balance their life, responsibilities, business, and navigate the constantly changing challenges they face.
This grant offers personal and mindset coaching support for farmers.
Farming isn’t just physically demanding, it can be mentally gruelling, and it takes a toll on their life, their relationships, and their inner self.
There are enough things outside a farmer’s control.
Their mind doesn't have to be one of them.
If you know a farmer,
love a farmer,
were a farmer,
want to be a farmer,
or simply appreciate that your life is easier because of them,
I’d love your help sharing this.
There is support out there.
And sometimes, just knowing that can help move the needle forward.
If this could benefit someone you know, please encourage them to reply via email here and I’ll happily pass the information on.
Farmers are an asset to our communities.
We need them.
And they deserve support, not just physically and financially, but emotionally too.
Thank you for being people who care.
And thank you for helping me spread this opportunity.
Steph
Click here to reply via email for more information.
Open to farmers of all kinds: Meat, eggs, produce, honey, flowers, plants etc.
The Shot That Makes You Successful
Every player has a Moneymaker.
What’s yours?
What’s the thing that’s going to help you be successful?
Lately, I’ve been absorbed in the Australian Open. Watching the top tennis players has been fascinating.
During one match, a commentator said about a player’s forehand,
“That’s been his moneymaker.”
That line stuck with me.
Not because of money, but because of what it really meant.
It was his signature shot.
The thing he could rely on.
The thing he’d deliberately practiced, refined, and trusted when it mattered.
So let me ask you something.
What’s your moneymaking shot?
Not necessarily the thing that literally makes you money, but the thing that will make you successful in life and business.
The quality.
The way you show up.
The inner skill you lean on when things feel uncertain.
For that tennis player, maybe there was some natural talent. A strong forehand, great topspin, beautiful timing. But that wasn’t enough on its own. He put in focused effort to make it his. Something dependable. Something repeatable.
That’s what I’m pointing to here.
Is your signature shot your consistency?
Your tenacity, you just don’t quit?
Your ability to stay out of unnecessary mind drama?
Your self-belief, even when your back’s against the wall?
Maybe it’s your kindness.
Your calm.
Your willingness to take responsibility.
Your self-compassion when things wobble.
All of these are powerful shots you can deliberately practice to give yourself an edge.
And maybe, right now, you’re thinking,
“I don’t know if I have one yet.”
That’s okay too.
If you don’t know what your signature shot is…
What would you like it to be?
What do you want to become known for, even just to yourself?
This isn’t about being perfect.
It’s about choosing something worth practicing.
So I’ll leave you with this:
What’s the shot, the quality, you want to build your success on?
That's what having a coach does.
We choose it.
We building it.
We practice it.
Your moneymaker.
Your success-maker.
If you want a coach in your corner to help you identify it, strengthen it, and actually use it in your life and business, book your consult here
Can't wait to get started.
Steph
When You Feel Like The Wind Is In Your Face.
Did you finish the year strong, like the wind was at your back and you were revved up to keep your momentum going into 2026, only to find now you’re dragging your feet?
Maybe you finished a little slower than you’d like, but you told yourself, “I’ll have a rest, then hit the ground running in 2026.”
And here you are, fearing you’re off to a slow start?
Have you set your New Year’s resolution to hit the gym and “get ripped!”
How’s that going?
Whichever one you resonate with, it can be encouraging to know that when you set big goals for yourself, it is common to experience resistance - times when you feel like the wind is in your face.
When this resistance and disappointment comes, your brain will want to melt into a puddle and cry (mine does). It will tell you all the things…
“Why me?”
“This will never work out.”
“See, I told you you can’t do this.”
“This only happens to you.”
That’s normal. That’s a healthy human brain.
This is the obstacle course we need to work through to achieve our goals.
It is the muscle we need to develop.
And it will feel uncomfortable.
When things don’t go the way we expected, take time to process that disappointment and frustration.
Speak it out to your coach.
Scream into a pillow.
Sprint around the block.
- Let it out.
Then, find yourself an empowering thought.
Not a comfortable thought, an empowering thought.
Try one of these on…
“This is not the end, this is just the beginning.”
“Nothing is broken that I can’t put back together.”
“I can handle this.”
“I will fight for this.”
“GAME ON.”
To stand firm with your face to the wind is never comfortable; it requires courage and determination.
Rarely does standing with your face to the wind look pretty. Often, we risk embarrassment, discomfort, and an ugly cry in front of our pets.
We take missteps, but we still move forward.
We find workarounds and solutions. Not all will be “correct,” but it will be something that will move us forward.
This temporary holdup will not be a permanent one if you let yourself process the disappointment of the moment, work through it, and find an empowering thought.
You’ve got this.
I know you do.
And if you need help to speak it out, find a solution, or extra support, come chat to me about it and you’ll have someone in your corner when the wind is in your face.
Steph
It’s time to take yourself seriously.
This is the time for you take yourself seriously… and have a whole lotta fun doing it.
I’ll be calling you up to the plate to take some aspects of your life more seriously.
And we’ll keep swinging at it until you hit a home run.
This is the time to step into your shoes, those shoes you didn't think you could fill.
Into that image of yourself you never allowed yourself to believe in, but everyone else could already see.
This will be your opportunity to take ownership of how you think, feel and act.
This is the time to:
Take your relationships seriously.
Take your time seriously.
Take your health seriously.
Take your faith seriously.
Your fitness, your finances, your home environment, your romance… seriously.
The time to live deeply in your life.
The time to shed your inability to say no,
to loosen the grip of people-pleasing,
to reshape unrealistic expectations.
The time to appreciate and understand your body,
your limits,
and your “relationship issues.”
The time to take ownership of your own story.
Appreciate your wisdom,
Your courage.
Time to step into your fears.
To break the glass ceiling.
To repair the rifts.
Whatever your current circumstances are, I want you to know this:
you are not broken.
This is the time to get around your sexy self.
To get on board.
To take yourself seriously.
I encourage you to think about the areas of your life you’d like to step up to and take more seriously this year.
If you’re ready to get started, book a time HERE and we’ll step confidently up to the plate together.
I can't wait,
Steph
You can be peaceful and powerful
Powerfully Peaceful.
What do those words conjure for you?
Is it possible to be peaceful and powerful at the same time?
This time of year brings a lot of change.
A lot of moving pieces.
A lot of interactions.
And a lot of demands on our energy.
There are more people on the road.
More people at the table.
More opportunities for connection and more possibilities for friction.
When those moments arise, what’s your usual reaction?
Is it to be powerful?
To take action?
To push back?
To hurl a zinger or a gesture that lets someone know who’s boss?
Or is it to be meek, mild, and peaceful?
And what do those responses mean to you?
Does being peaceful feel like being walked over?
Like being overlooked or dismissed… again?
So I wonder:
Can you be peaceful and powerful?
And would that actually be the best course of action?
When I think about peace and power, I picture a river, like the one above.
Constantly, quietly flowing.
Peaceful.
Refreshing.
Invigorating.
Calm.
It doesn’t rush or force.
It moves steadily onward, rejuvenating, life-giving, supporting entire, complex ecosystems.
And yet, it is powerful enough to create massive change.
To carve through rock.
To move mountains.
To reshape the landscape over time.
Peaceful.
Powerful.
What does being peaceful and powerful mean to you?
What do you picture when you hold those two ideas together
As we move through this busy, end-of-year season, I hope you find a way to be both.
Have a wonderfully refreshing end to your year.
Your personal coach,
Steph
PS. Don't despair if either quality doesn't come naturally to you. They are just qualities, feelings and actions. And like all other feelings, they can be developed. If you would like lean into them more intentionally, reach out. Reply to this email and we can get started. You've got this.
You’re not disorganised, you simply haven’t learned the skill yet.
People aren’t born good organisers.
It’s a learned skill.
And you can learn it too.
If you’ve ever felt like you “should” be more organised…
or wondered why getting on top of your week feels harder for you than it does for other people…
I want you to know something important:
People aren’t born good organisers.
It’s a learned skill, and you can learn it too.
In my last email, I mentioned that I run a weekly, free, Plan Your Week workshop, and this is exactly why I do it.
So many of my clients want to feel calmer, clearer, and more in control of their time.
They want better boundaries, less overwhelm and fewer last-minute scrambles.
These aren’t personality traits.
They’re skills.
And the beautiful thing about skills is: you can get better at them with practice.
One of the simplest places to start is building a weekly plan.
You can read about planning.
You can listen to experts explain it.
You can feel inspired in the moment…
…and then still struggle to sit down and actually do it for yourself.
That’s why this workshop exists.
It’s a real-time, step-by-step session where we build your week together.
You just show up and we take it from there.
And here’s the best part:
You don’t need to be good at it to start.
You get good at it by starting.
Every week, someone says:
“This is so empowering.”
“I’ve never actually done this before. I feel amazing.”
“I finally feel in control and accountable for my life.”
I don’t run it because my own schedule is perfect.
I run it because planning is a practice for me too. Every time I teach it, I get better as well.
Why Fridays, 2–4pm?
Because I want this to become a grounding end-of-week ritual for you.
So by 4pm you can close your laptop, tidy your desk, walk out…
and enjoy a guilt free weekend.
Imagine starting Monday without that “where do I even begin?” feeling.
This is what the workshop teaches you.
I’d love for you to join me this week.
And when I have extra availability, I open additional times so more can come.
Even if you are a scheduling ninja, there is something here for you.
Register HERE and I'll send you the link
You can learn this!
Your coach,
Steph
P.S. This week’s free Plan Your Week Workshop times are:
• Thursday: 6:30–8:30pm AEDT
• Friday: 10am–12pm AEDT (that’s 6–8pm Eastern — perfect for my international friends!)
• Friday: 2–4pm AEDT
Intersted? Save your seat here
PPS. Interested in seeing what it's like to work with me 1-on-1? Book a free consult here.
Give the Gift of Clarity, Calm, & Confidence
As the end of the year looms large in front of us, and our New Year’s resolutions have long disappeared in the rear-view mirror, we can start to get a little down on ourselves.
Stress creeps in.
A panic can start to rise in us.
What will next year bring?
More of the same?
Will I get to where I want to go?
If you are feeling that, I can assure you, you are not alone.
What can help?
My newest offer!
It’s two specially designed coaching calls, curated to help you calm down, unburden, gain some clarity, and step forward with confidence.
Available now for use through December and January.
You’ll be able to use it to wrap the year up with a pretty bow and say to yourself:
Thank you.
Thank you for supporting me.
Thank you for putting up with me.
Thank you for being a great boss, a great employee, an epic friend, and a caring sidekick.
If that sounds like the gift you want to give yourself,
purchase yours HERE.
And if that sounds like a thank you you want to say to someone else,
you can purchase a gift card HERE.
What do you buy for people who are hard to purchase for?
The people who have everything they materially need?
Knowledge.
Strength.
Clarity.
Peace.
Confidence.
That would be a good start, I reckon.
If your friend takes away just one of those from our two sessions together, that’s a gift that will continue to repay them for the rest of their lives.
That gift is priceless, but since I do run a business and you’ve forced me to put a price on it, I’ve made it affordable, accessible, and doable.
As my gift to you, to say thank you. You’ve got this.
Thank you for a wonderful year of support, for being a great sidekick, my cheerleader, and for keeping on keeping on.
I hope you can make use of this wonderful offer and join me in the coming months.
Buy one for yourself and gift one to a friend.
See you there,
Steph
Your personal coach
Order my special offer HERE: The Clarity, Calm & Confidence Coaching Pack
Order it as a gift card HERE
Lessons from driving a Porsche
Let me tell you a story.
12 months ago I drove to a beautiful little village in the heart of a valley.
To get in and out of that valley, I needed to drive an unfamiliar path; 10kms of steep, narrow, winding roads.
Now, I consider myself a competent driver and have had my licence for decades.
But this road was different, it was unpleasant.
My stomach was in my throat. The roads were narrow. The cliff was steep. The gutter seemed so close. Inches away from peril at every turn. And yet the locals were flying around it without a care in the world.
I wondered how could they live here and traverse these roads every day?
What was I doing wrong?
Should I give up my licence simply because of this one stretch of road I find tricky? Of course not.
It really took the shine of this quaint little village trip. Yet I knew I wanted to return.
But should I? With that road? Really? I must admit, if I did return, I wouldn't be looking forward to it.
Yet back I went, and this time... I took a Porsche.
The result?
The road was still the same, just as I remembered it. Just a narrow, just as steep, just as windy.
But some how I drifted around the corners smoother, I powered up the hills like they didn't exist, I jauntily waved to the locals as I glided by (ok I made that last bit up)
The lesson:
Don't shy away from your challenges. The more you do something you will get better at it, with or without help.
But the lesson from driving a Porsche:
With the right tool, your progress through those same challenges will skyrocket, and they can even be fun.
The right tool empowers you. It builds your self confidence, your self belief, even your self image. It helps you regain control and enjoy the ride.
I'm not advocating for luxuries you can't afford, or promoting happiness only through material gain.
The reality is there are situations when a Porsche would actually hinder your progress. Times when your trusty 15 year old Toyota Hilux would be the correct tool for the job.
What I'm doing is letting you know there are tools out there built to help you with your particular challenging stretch of road.
What are some of those tools?
Friends.
Books.
People who’ve travelled the road before you.
Therapists.
Coaches.
Tools that help you navigate your specific challenges, whether that’s:
Confidence
Weight loss
Anger management
Intimacy
Business
Entrepreneurship
Journaling
Marriage
Time management
Saying no
Parenting kids with additional needs
Body image
Mindset
Leadership
Navigating grief
…and more.
I’m not telling you you have to work with me.
I simply hope this nudges you to look honestly at your tricky stretch of road and explore what tool might support you right now.
How do I help?
I'm a coach who, like the Porsche, helps you gain confidence and feel in control.
I don't make the road flat for you, I empower you to go up the hills.
I don't straighten the road for you, I help you enjoy the corners.
I don't widen the road, I help you gain a broader perspective.
Some of the tools I offer are free. Some require an investment.
All of them are designed to help you take the scary part out of the drive.
Bellow are some tools that are available to you this week.
Feel free to avail yourself of them, ask questions, and take one for a drive.
Steph
Your Personal Coach
This weeks tools for you:
Improve Your Productivity + Focus Workspace — Free
A dedicated space to get a task done with like-minded people.
Perfect if you need motivation, accountability, or help keeping your mind from wandering.
Pairs beautifully with the Friday planning workshop.
Monday 24th Nov, 2–4pm AEST
Free via Zoom from anywhere.
Click HERE to join
Interactive Weekly Planning Workshop — Free
A two-hour guided planning session.
Close out your week, enter your weekend relaxed, and know everything is done or scheduled.
Friday 28th Nov, 2–4pm AEST
Free via Zoom from anywhere.
Click HERE to join.
Finish The Year Strong — One-on-One Workshop — Free (1 spot left)
End the year with clarity, energy, and direction.
A fun, interactive session to reset and refocus.
Saturday 29th Nov, 9am AEST (90mins)
One spot available.
Book via the link HERE — or just reply to this email.
One-on-One Personalised Coaching — Investment Required (Consult Free)
Custom packages available for your personal goals.
Find your focus, understand what you need, and see whether coaching is right for you — no pressure, no obligation.
Find out more and book HERE
Your Greatest Love is Still Ahead of You
Your greatest love is still ahead of you.
What a wonderful thought.
Regardless of if you are happily or unhappily single, happily or unhappily married for decades - your greatest love is still ahead of you.
Why?
Because its not about another person.
It's about you getting to choose how you love.
How you give and receive love.
How you love who you are, what you are, where you are.
We get to constantly grow and shift.
Even if nothing externally changes. Especially if nothing external changes.
For some, the concept of love feels obscure.
For others, it is cut and dry.
Regardless of how you currently are thinking, what would it be like to sit comfortably in love of your self, love of your life, love of your past, love of your partner?
I'm curious, how would you describe love?
How does it feel to you?
How do you know you are feeling it?
And how does it feel to be reminded that your greatest love is still to come?
Not a person, but the depth of your love; the way you love and are loved is still unfolding.
Reply to me here and tell me. I would love to know your thoughts, your joys and what you struggling with when it comes to love.
Steph
Your personal coach
How do you fix it when things go wrong?
This is an open question.
I would love to hear what you have to say.
Take a minute to reflect on a time when things didn’t go the way you hoped.
How do you usually respond when things "go wrong"?
Is it some form of fight, flight, freeze or fawning?
Looping, nagging, negative thoughts?
Sleepless nights? Catastrophising? Self blame?
What do you struggle with when things don't go the way you planned?
How would you like to react?
What is in the way of you acting that way?
You always work it out, so how have you ultimately fixed it when things have gone wrong?
I would love to know.
Reply and share your thoughts.
Your personal coach,
Steph
How do you Argue?
We need to talk.
What do you think of when I say 'argue'?
What do you picture?
Two people in the kitchen, one getting big and loud, the other with hand on hip, leaning forward, pointing a finger?
Take a minute to think; which one, if either, are you in that picture?
How did you get there?
What is the point of it?
What is the objective of both people?
Good old google tells me there are two definitions for the word 'argue'.
argue
/ˈɑːɡjuː/ 1. give reasons or cite evidence in support of an idea, action, or theory, typically with the aim of persuading others to share one's view.
2. exchange or express diverging or opposite views, typically in a heated or angry way.
There are two different vibes here, and I want to offer you the thought that you have the option to choose which one you want to be.
Person 1. goes into a situation with the aim to persuade others of an idea, a course of action, or a theory they have by using reason and evidence.
or
Person 2. expresses their diverging or opposite views, typically in a heated or angry way. They use loud, aggressive, attacking behaviour to show they are hurt, they have been misunderstood, that the other person is wrong, or that their own point is correct.
Notice, Im not saying don't argue. Im asking you to pay attention to how you argue.
What is your objective?
To persuade to change with constructive thoughts?
Or to persuade to change by belittling and inciting fear.
I think we all want to be person #1, right?
But how?
This requires us to take a second to work out what our objective actually is. Even write it down first. Have it clear in our mind.
So when a conversation goes off track (and they do), we notice it and we can steer it back to where we want it to be, to who we want to be in an argument.
What happens when things go pear shaped?
Ok, story time
This happened to me the other day.
I knew what I wanted to say and why I wanted to say it - my objective.
As I was consciously trying to steer the ship away from the rocks of a heated conversation, I smashed right into them. My words came out all wrong, in a jumbled mess - Even the best laid plans go awry, misunderstandings happen, and here is the risk of either party quickly becoming person number 2.
Thats ok. Nothing has gone wrong. This happens. What to do next?
I had to take a minute (or a couple of hours) to allow space for my frustrationthat I had got it wrong, that I was misunderstood and to regroup.
I reflected on what my intention was. I wrote it down.
I took ownership that I got in the weeds with my words.
I was able to apolgoise and restate my intention.
Bingo
Back on the same page.
Give it a go next time you feel yourself taking offence, being misunderstoodor that the argument is escalating into blame, name calling, anger or frustration.
You can argue without the use of these.
You can choose to be person #1 or person #2 in an argument.
If you feel you need someone to thrash it out with... let's talk.
Start here by booking your free consult
Your personal coach to arguing better,
Steph
PS. Want to know more about how a personal coach can help you feel more in control? Head to the website here
Your brain is built to change. Here’s how to speed it up
4 key ingredients to harness you ability to improve.
We all naturally want to grow, to develop new skills, to improve in some way, right?
Maybe we want to communicate better, manage time more effectively, exercise more, or simply feel more at peace.
Maybe it shows up for you as wanting to argue less, stop procrastinating, be more productive, or lose weight.
Either way, all of those outcomes require us to learn new skills.
The problem: learning new things seem impossible, it takes forever, and its infuriating when we don't get it right.
Can you relate?
You are not alone. Many of us struggle to believe change is even possible, to believe that improvement is something we can truly control.
But your brain knows better. It knows change is possiblebecause you have a beautiful inbuilt system designed to grow and adapt.
It's called NEOROPLASTICITY
This is where I get a bit sciency.
What is neuroplasticity?
Neuroplasticity is a fancy word that encompasses your brain’s natural ability to rewire itself, to be moulded into something new, to learn and grow.
Your brain adapts as you experience "good" and "bad" things. Your behaviour shifts accordingly.
But the real exciting part is that you can choose to engage this adaption process deliberately.
You can choose to learn new skills. Skills you may have once thought impossible.
Most people think it’s all about repetition.
But repetition alone isn’t enough.
There are four key ingredients your brain needs to fully engage neuroplasticity. They’re surprisingly easy to overlook:
4 key ingredients you brain needs in order to engage neuroplasticity.
Alertness and Focus – this is the foundation, the stage for growth. Proper nutrition, hydration and movement all help with being alert and focused on the skill we want to learn.
Make Mistakes – yes, all that frustration we experience when growing and making mistakes actually trigger the rewiring process. Read that again: mistakes are essential.
Mental Reflection and Rehearsal – Don't miss this step. It is important. We need to take time to reflect on our attempt and decide what worked, what didn't and how we would like to do it differently next time.
Sleep – Get enough, good sleep! Sleep is where the actual brain “renovations” happen. During sleep, your brain pulls together all the focus, effort, errors, and reflection to build stronger, more efficient connections.
Do you struggle in any of these areas?
Do you sleep well?
Have trouble focusing?
Beat yourself up when you "fail", rather than planning how to try again?
This is where I come in.
My clients report sleeping better, become more productive, they stop beat themselves up over their mistakes, and they rekindle their zest for growth
Why? because I provide the opportunity to revise and rehearse in a neutral space.
By harnessing your brain’s natural ability to change, you can become more productive, stop people-pleasing, set healthier boundaries, lose weight and argue less.
If you want to try it for yourself and see how personalised coaching can help you optimise you? Get in touch.
You can email me or simply book a free consult.
Book your free consult here
And if you’d like to dive deeper into the science around neuroplasticity, here’s an excellent explanation of neuroplasticity by Dr Andrew Huberman
Your personal coach,
Steph
PS. Want to know more about how personalised coaching can help you reach your goals? Visit my website here
What if nothing has gone wrong?
Disappointment doesn't spell the end of desire
Are you among the many people who struggle to articulate your desires or to set goals?
Perhaps you set them but don't chase them down?
What do you think is holding you back?
I find, sometimes what holds us back from setting a goal is the fear we won't achieve it.
If we don't achieve it, then we have to deal with feeling disappointment.
And who likes that feeling?
Not many of us would say disappointment is in the top 10 feelings we love to feel.
So we avoid it. Set the bar lower... you know, just in case. Give ourselves an out.
So whats the answer?
Just knowing that disappointment comes from thoughts like "this shouldn't have happened", "this should have been easier", "this shouldn't take this long", "they should have acted differently" gives us the key to handling it.
Notice all the "shoulds"? Our expectations? The disclaimers?
We shouldn't feel disappointment.
But what if nothing has gone wrong?
What if feeling disappointment is a normal part of the process?
What if feeling disappointment is not the end of our desire. But simply hones it. Gets us one step closer.
What if disappointment isn’t proof you’ve failed. It’s proof you’re in the arena.
What then?
Then we don't fear disappointment but we meet it and use it.
It opens us up to trying again.
To the possibility we are on the right track.
Disappointment may feel yuck. But its not the end.
The key is to reframe our expectations and strengthen our “try again” muscle.
How do you do that?
Deliberately create and practice the thoughts that keep you moving forward when plans wobble.
Here are some great thoughts to practice:
Nothing has gone wrong here.
This didn’t go as expected… and that’s OK.
My pace is exactly right.
I expected hiccups.
Other people’s opinions/actions/attitudes don’t need to derail me.
Mistakes ARE part of the plan.
I’m learning as I go.
Notice how those thoughts make you feel? So much lighter.
Over to you, now it’s your turn to write 3–5 empowering thoughts you’ll reach for next time things don’t go as planned.
This new way of thinking can feel foreign and may take practice to master. But don't give up.
If you need to run through it with me, hit reply and let me know what you are struggling with.
Your coach,
Steph
PS. Want to know more about how I help people overcome disappointment and learn to desire again? click here
Luxury without the price tag
"It Was So Luxurious"
I just had a client who completed her free consult with me.
Afterwards I asked her how she felt.
With a smile, she said she felt guilty.
What??
Guilty spending one hour just talking about her, getting all her thoughts out, and systematically plotting her way forward.
We didn't discuss me once.
She felt guilty because it was so unfamiliar to her.
But because she was willing to feel guilty, and go through the process, she said "it was so luxurious."
to spend an hour just talking about her
to speak freely
to be seen
to be heard
to feel supported
These things shouldn't be rare, but sadly they are.
Carving out time to do things you wouldn't normally do is so special.
It is luxurious
You don't need expensive jewellery, fancy sheets and fast cars to feel luxurious.
Simply feeling supported can be a luxury. To have an unbiased someone in your corner. A place to speak it out.
And I offer it free.
Because not all luxuries need to be expensive and hard to get.
Your consult will last 60-90 minutes,
and its all about you - how splendid
I use a systematically process that allows you to
get it all out, plus the stuff you didn't know was in there.
plan what we will tackle first
see what it looks like to work together.
I offer you this luxury, without the price tag.
If you are ready to give it a go, book a time here.
Don't keep it to yourself; if you have a friend you think would benefit from this, share the link and compare notes.
Your consult will be held on zoom at a time that suits you.
No need to prepare.
Just be in a distraction free space so you can get the most out of your time.
Ready for a bit of luxury in your life?
Book a time here.
Your personal coach,
Steph
PS. Want to know more about me? Head here
Warm + Friendly Small-Group Networking
Online Speed Networking that’s kind, supportive, and fun.
Date:
Friday 15th August, 9:00am-10:00am AEST
Location:
Online Zoom Meeting. Register here
Cost: Free
How it works:
We’ll kick off with a spotlight — one person will have up to 10 minutes to share about their business. They can speak freely, answer a few questions from me, show their website, and (if they’re open to it) take questions from the group.
Then the fun begins: You will automatically be divided into small breakout rooms. Every 5 minutes, the rooms will shuffle, giving you fresh chances to meet people and practice your spiel. If you’re cut off mid-sentence, no worries — there’s always a chance to reconnect afterwards.
Our goal:
For you to walk away with meaningful connections and easy, respectful ways to follow up — LinkedIn, Instagram, an email list, or whatever suits the people you meet.
It costs nothing but builds a network of support that lifts everyone up.
What to bring:
A cup of tea (or your drink of choice!)
Your best attempt at an introduction — this is a safe space to practice
A willingness to support others and have fun
We’re all a little nervous, that’s part of the fun! Let’s connect, learn, and grow together.
Know someone who would benefit from this type of networking event?
Why not share this page with them. They are more than welcome.
See you there,
Your Host,
Steph
“Old thoughts still come up… but they don’t have the same power over me anymore.”
“Old thoughts still come up… but they don’t have the same power over me anymore.”
That’s what a client said to me recently.
She added,
“I no longer feel the same level of guilt and helplessness as I once did.”
Wow, such freedom.
I was blown away.
SHE was blown away.
I mean, I know what I do is powerful…
But after only 6 sessions?
6 sessions to feel more in control, powerful and free?
Come on.
What do you think?
Is it possible to have such marked changes in your attitude and perception in a short time?
Is it possible to be able to look at the same situation and not feel triggered like you once did?
Can you change your relationship with guilt, stress, and helplessness, in just 6 sessions?
Why not find out?
We begin with a FREE 60–90 min consult.
It’s where we lay the foundation for everything we do together, and mark our starting point.
We get clear on what we are going to tackle then get stuck in.
That first chat alone is a game-changer.
Email me to book it. Email me here with questions or to book
You’ve got nothing to lose, except maybe your attachment to some old thoughts and feelings.
Steph
What happens on a consult
and why is it so effective.
Your free consult takes 60-90 minutes and is designed to get all the information we need to give us a clear direction forward.
It gives us a clear picture of where you are and where you want to be.
Even if you already have a rough idea, this process often lights up exciting areas of growth you didn’t even realise you wanted.
Don’t be overwhelmed, it’s fun.
It’s powerful, insightful, and one of the most energising conversations you’ll have.
Everyone comes away thinking that is worth every penny… except it’s completely free! - free of charge and free of obligation.
All I ask is that you take it seriously. Book in and show up. Thats it.
By the end we have chosen one or two things we want to work on and locked in your first step forward.
Your brain will offer you every objection it can to stay as it is. And that’s ok. That’s normal.
We can talk through your fears and reassure you that it is a safe place, it’s the perfect place, to become better at being you.
See you there.
Steph
What Happens When Things Don’t Go the Way We Hoped?
When we invest our time, money and emotions into something, we expect a return. Whether we realise it or not.
Love.
Loyalty.
A lifelong relationship.
A good conscience.
Security.
Financial freedom
So what happens when we don’t get the return we hoped for?
How do you feel about that investment?
And how does it affect your willingness to invest again?
Looking back, do you carry any blame, shame, or regret?
Those are incredibly common feelings.
I know because I’ve felt them too, many times.
But what if there’s another way?
What if you didn’t have to live with the weight of blame, shame, or regret?
What if you could find something useful in the experience, a return?
Sometimes just knowing that other ways of seeing it exist is enough to crack open the door.
To realise that blame, shame, and regret rob us
of our power,
our memories,
and the future desire to try again.
That shift has helped me immensely.
Let me tell you how.
When I started to farm, we chose to start on leased land. We were happy with that choice. It had plenty of up sides.
A down side to not owning the land was that it left us vulnerable to the landlords discretion.
Fast forward 8 years, and we’d poured everything into that land:
Rent. Time. Energy. Emotions.
We built tanks, troughs, cattle yards, fences.
We raised cattle and built a business.
Then, without warning, you guessed it, the owners of the land foreclosed on the property.
We had 60 days to pack up and be off the land.
Here’s what that looked like:
Over 100 cows, many heavily pregnant or with newborns
Middle of winter
In the middle of a drought
No spare feed anywhere
Hay either unavailable or impossibly expensive
Whichever way you cut it, we were looking at major losses on our investment.
It would have been easy to give into the desire to blame, to wither under shame, and to loop in regret over our past decisions.
“If only…”
“Why didn’t we…”
“What were we thinking…”
But I made a decision.
I would not let blame, shame or regret take over.
Knowing they only robs us of our power, our memories, and the desire to try again.
Instead I asked myself, “what wisdom have I gained from this?”
You can start there too.
It’s a powerful shift and it’s available to you.
Ask:
What did I learn?
What would I do differently next time?
What would I still choose again?
I offer this reflection to my clients often.
I help them step out of blame, shame, and regret
and into power, wisdom, and the courage to invest in themselves again.
If you’d like to explore how I can help you do the same, I’d love to chat.
You can email me or book a free consult below.
Book a free consult here
Don’t give up on yourself.
You’re worth investing in.
Steph
"Why Did I Just Do That?"
Unpacking the small (and not-so-small) emotional outbursts that leave us wondering, “Why Did I Just Do That?”
I was playing with my three-year-old niece the other day.
At one point, when it seemed like I wasn’t doing what she wanted, she suddenly turned around, crossed her arms, and stormed off.
What happened?
Yes, she’s only three and still learning how to communicate, how to reason, and how to make sense of her world.
But also, she didn’t know how to express what she was feeling. She didn’t have the words, so she acted it out.
It’s easy to call it a tantrum (and it was), but it was also her doing the best she could with what she had. Her emotions took over, and her little brain, in its attempt to get what it wanted, used the tools available; storm off, make me feel bad, hope that brings her the outcome she wants.
Here’s the kicker though:
We think we grow out of this.
We don’t.
Not completely.
Not without conscious effort.
Have you ever shut down a conversation, snapped at someone, or given the silent treatment? Not because you were cruel, but because you just didn’t have the words?
I thought so. Me to.
Recently, I was on a phone call that overwhelmed me. My brain spiraled into noise, and instead of expressing what was going on, I blurted out, “I have to go,” and hung up.
Not my proudest moment.
Insert the conscious effort part here - Later, I CHOSE to sit down to unpack what happened.
What was I actually feeling? and why.
What was I thinking in that moment? and why.
No editing, no judging, just raw honesty on paper.
The truth? I was just like my niece. Flooded with emotions and missing the language to explain what was going on. And, lets be honest, it was an easy way to manipulate the situation to get what I wanted.
That’s the powerful part of being an adult; we get to learn.
We get to practice having emotional awareness.
I realised I needed to build my vocabulary around how I feel.
To find better words.
To name what’s going on before it boils over.
Now, I’ve got a few simple phrases ready to go. The next time I feel overwhelmed, instead of shutting down, I can say:
“Hey, I’m a bit all over the place right now. Can I take a minute to gather my thoughts?”
“I’m not totally sure what’s going on, but I’m definitely feeling off. I just need a second.”
“My head’s spinning a bit and I don’t want to blurt. Can we hit pause for a sec?”
You're welcome to borrow those too.
It might sound small, but this is growth.
This is how we grow, bit by bit, word by word.
When we review.
So here’s my question to you:
What were you feeling when you last "just did that"?
How would you describe it if no one was judging?
It’s okay if you don’t know yet.
Start there.
I help my clients every day articulate their thoughts, feelings and actions just like this.
The result? They CHOOSE how to think, feel and act to get the results they want.
Without the drama.
Without the 'why did I just do that?" hangover.
If you are interested in exploring how that can work for you, I offer free, no obligation consults to start getting you moving forward with intention.
BOOK YOUR CONSULT HERE <<<<<<<<<<<
It's not about being perfect, its about being purposeful.
Your wingwoman,
Steph
PS. Interested in finding out more about 'why you just did that'? Book a free, no obligation consult here
Befriend yourself when you are swimming against the current
Sometimes we are in the current!
Things are flowing along nicely.
Things feel easy.
Everything is going our way.
We are hitting goals and achieving.
We have too much energy than we know what to do with.
Other times the tide has turned and we feel like we are swimming up stream with weights around our ankles, everything is a slog.
In those times, we don't even want to do the things that we know bring us joy, or at the very least will pull us out of the frump we are in.
What I want to offer you today is the reassurance that, when those times come, nothing has gone wrong. This is the normal human experience, that this is the normal ebbs and flows of life.
Granted, some people may experience a little more of an 'extreme' ride than others, nevertheless, this is the human experience.
My question for you is, how do you befriend yourself in those times? In the ups and the downs?
How would a good friend behave in those times?
How would you like to talk to your friend?
How can you be a good friend to yourself in those times?
Below are 10 journaling prompts that may help.
Do a little self reflection and get back to me.
Happy to hear your thoughts.
Your wingwoman,
Steph
PS. Interested in digging deeper and working with me? Find out how HERE
10 Journaling Prompts to help you
Befriend Yourself in the Low Times
“What do I usually say to myself when I’m struggling?”
Would I say that to someone I love?“When I’m in a low patch, what do I need most from myself?”
(Not what you should do… but what you need.)“If my best friend were feeling how I’m feeling right now, how would I treat her?”
Can I offer myself even a slice of that compassion?“What small act of care could I give myself today?”
Something tiny, doable, and kind.“What messages do I believe about rest, slowness, or struggle?”
Are those messages helping or hurting me?“What part of me feels heavy right now?”
Can I name it, acknowledge it, and sit beside it gently, without needing to fix it?“What reminds me of my strength, even in the hard times?”
Write down moments you've survived, learned from, or shown quiet courage.“What does being a good friend to myself look like on a hard day?”
Paint the picture with words. Let it guide you next time the tide turns.“In what ways have I grown through past lows?”
Let your own history remind you of what’s possible.“Right now, I want to tell myself…”
Let it flow. No filter. Just you, showing up for you.