What Happens When Things Don’t Go the Way We Hoped?
When we invest our time, money and emotions into something, we expect a return. Whether we realise it or not.
Love.
Loyalty.
A lifelong relationship.
A good conscience.
Security.
Financial freedom
So what happens when we don’t get the return we hoped for?
How do you feel about that investment?
And how does it affect your willingness to invest again?
Looking back, do you carry any blame, shame, or regret?
Those are incredibly common feelings.
I know because I’ve felt them too, many times.
But what if there’s another way?
What if you didn’t have to live with the weight of blame, shame, or regret?
What if you could find something useful in the experience, a return?
Sometimes just knowing that other ways of seeing it exist is enough to crack open the door.
To realise that blame, shame, and regret rob us
of our power,
our memories,
and the future desire to try again.
That shift has helped me immensely.
Let me tell you how.
When I started to farm, we chose to start on leased land. We were happy with that choice. It had plenty of up sides.
A down side to not owning the land was that it left us vulnerable to the landlords discretion.
Fast forward 8 years, and we’d poured everything into that land:
Rent. Time. Energy. Emotions.
We built tanks, troughs, cattle yards, fences.
We raised cattle and built a business.
Then, without warning, you guessed it, the owners of the land foreclosed on the property.
We had 60 days to pack up and be off the land.
Here’s what that looked like:
Over 100 cows, many heavily pregnant or with newborns
Middle of winter
In the middle of a drought
No spare feed anywhere
Hay either unavailable or impossibly expensive
Whichever way you cut it, we were looking at major losses on our investment.
It would have been easy to give into the desire to blame, to wither under shame, and to loop in regret over our past decisions.
“If only…”
“Why didn’t we…”
“What were we thinking…”
But I made a decision.
I would not let blame, shame or regret take over.
Knowing they only robs us of our power, our memories, and the desire to try again.
Instead I asked myself, “what wisdom have I gained from this?”
You can start there too.
It’s a powerful shift and it’s available to you.
Ask:
What did I learn?
What would I do differently next time?
What would I still choose again?
I offer this reflection to my clients often.
I help them step out of blame, shame, and regret
and into power, wisdom, and the courage to invest in themselves again.
If you’d like to explore how I can help you do the same, I’d love to chat.
You can email me or book a free consult below.
Book a free consult here
Don’t give up on yourself.
You’re worth investing in.
Steph