What if nothing has gone wrong?
Disappointment doesn't spell the end of desire
Are you among the many people who struggle to articulate your desires or to set goals?
Perhaps you set them but don't chase them down?
What do you think is holding you back?
I find, sometimes what holds us back from setting a goal is the fear we won't achieve it.
If we don't achieve it, then we have to deal with feeling disappointment.
And who likes that feeling?
Not many of us would say disappointment is in the top 10 feelings we love to feel.
So we avoid it. Set the bar lower... you know, just in case. Give ourselves an out.
So whats the answer?
Just knowing that disappointment comes from thoughts like "this shouldn't have happened", "this should have been easier", "this shouldn't take this long", "they should have acted differently" gives us the key to handling it.
Notice all the "shoulds"? Our expectations? The disclaimers?
We shouldn't feel disappointment.
But what if nothing has gone wrong?
What if feeling disappointment is a normal part of the process?
What if feeling disappointment is not the end of our desire. But simply hones it. Gets us one step closer.
What if disappointment isn’t proof you’ve failed. It’s proof you’re in the arena.
What then?
Then we don't fear disappointment but we meet it and use it.
It opens us up to trying again.
To the possibility we are on the right track.
Disappointment may feel yuck. But its not the end.
The key is to reframe our expectations and strengthen our “try again” muscle.
How do you do that?
Deliberately create and practice the thoughts that keep you moving forward when plans wobble.
Here are some great thoughts to practice:
Nothing has gone wrong here.
This didn’t go as expected… and that’s OK.
My pace is exactly right.
I expected hiccups.
Other people’s opinions/actions/attitudes don’t need to derail me.
Mistakes ARE part of the plan.
I’m learning as I go.
Notice how those thoughts make you feel? So much lighter.
Over to you, now it’s your turn to write 3–5 empowering thoughts you’ll reach for next time things don’t go as planned.
This new way of thinking can feel foreign and may take practice to master. But don't give up.
If you need to run through it with me, hit reply and let me know what you are struggling with.
Your coach,
Steph
PS. Want to know more about how I help people overcome disappointment and learn to desire again? click here